The Endocrinologist Called........

So since the idiot nurses had no clue what they were talking about the endocrinologist called back to tell me, in his ever so blunt -non-empathetic way, that he wanted me to have a 17 Alpha Hydroxyprogesterone level test. This is a test that checks what is going on with my androgen level since mine was 345 when I got my blood drawn in August. Which is fairly high according to my ob/gyn and she didn't know what to do after she saw the number?!

The endocrinologists office is supposed to call me back and tell me when they have scheduled the test for. When they do that, I'll be calling the lab to see how much the tests costs. I do think it's a necessary test so I'll buck up and pay it. But here's the kicker.................

My endocrinologist said, "If the test comes back fine, there's nothing more I can do for you." And he had already indicated to me during my appointment with him that it's a very slim chance that anything is wrong, they just need to rule it because tumors on your adrenal glands can cause elevated androgen levels. But wait, go back to the "there's nothing more I can do for you." So what, I'm a lost cause at that point. WTF?????? My husband had just arrived home when I got this call and I lost it, I broke down and cried and he came over and gave me a huge hug and said he was really sorry this was happening to me. I just can't believe it. Remember when I had my first visit with him and I asked what we could do if Clomid didn't work and he replied "There are lots of things we can do." Of course I wanted details, he didn't want to give them. So now it's nothing. All options are thrown out the window!

Also, I read on the Fertilefile blog written by an RE that if you don't ovulate with 50mg, then 100mg of CLomid, it's highly unlikely 150mg will do any good. So my dilemna is, why pay for the ultrasound for this last round of clomid, take 150mg, then pay for another blood test and ultrasound if it's highly unlikely it will work! My thoughts last night were that I hold off until March on any more fertility meds while I try to lose at least 20 pounds and save up more money, at which time I'll fly down to Washington and go to a fertility clinic. I just feel like spending $800-1200 right now with my ob/gyn that isn't even a fertility specialist just doesn't make sense. But I do want her to put me on Metformin and I would like to do the glucose test where you drink that sugary drink and then they take your blood again to really see if I'm insulin resistant.

But then part of me thinks, I want a baby now!! What if one more round of Clomid did work? Or should we just start the adoption process?

Well after feeling like a pile of crap, I asked my husband if we could get out of the house so we went to see Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Oh yes, that is what I chose. I didn't want a serious movie or action packed and yes, it was as cheesy as it sounds, but I'm not going to lie, I totally laughed out loud for most of the movie:) Then we went to Barnes and Noble where I read gossip magazines and had a peppermint mocha. However by the time I got home I had a pounding headache and upset stomach and I tossed and turned for 2 hours in bed. Which is odd because I usually fall asleep in less than 5 minutes but I had so many thoughts in my head that I couldn't just relax.

Today is a new day. Today I'm the girl that is determined to lose weight and isn't going to worry about getting pregnant any time soon. We'll see how long this lasts.